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 An oil tanker spilled about 2000 galleons (about $6000 worlth) of gasoline onto the highway of 101 NB (and SB some moments later) at about 1.30pm yesterday. After 8 hrs of work, CalTran was able to reopen SB at about 10.30pm last night. 101 NB reopened at about 5.30am this morning but two left lanes of 101 NB near Whipple Exit remained closed.

I knew that, but I decided to get on 101 north to travel to work in San Mateo anyways. That added an extra lovely 30 minutes stop-and-go commute to the usual 1 hr commute. I knew that I could have gone on 280 which will add about 10 minutes to the usually commute time. I knew I could also take 92/84. I knew all those but I decided to take the most painful option anyways.

None of the decision making process involves the slightest bit of bravery, determinism or journalistic spirit. Objectively speaking I would say the choice is an i-don’t-care-if-it-is-self-destructive-or-not-and-i-am-doing-it-anyways approach. I fucking know this is lame, and I fucking know I don’t have to act like this. I fucking know a lot of things but I just cannot integrate those knowledge into my life.

Aren’t people tired of irresponsible suggestions which are more for the purpose of self-satisfying than being altrutically helpful? Just as what my spiritual partner said, “saying things with good motives does not necessarily make it a loving act”. This is simply because different people perceive things differently. A loving act for 1 person doesn’t necessary make it a loving act for another.

To find out what is a loving act for EACH person bear consequences -  money, time, patience, determination, self-reflection, wisdom and zeal - i.e. part of yourself. If you are not prepared to give away part of yourself, make yourself vulnerable and have your life connected to the outcome of this person, you won’t be a loving person.

I could have easily condemned those 20 workers sitting, drinking, chatting at the site of the oil spill for not working on the gasoline spill. But giving it a 5 secs share of my mind (I am slow) I noticed that I cannot ask them to remove the gasoline with their hands, and blame them for the bad weather from yesterday which prevented the workers from working on the spill and the bad traffic that  prevented vehicles with the necessary equipments to arrive at the scene.

You give a damn? Give a dime and a piece of your mind.